I wrote this piece to tell the story of how Michael felt right after he received his new lungs. He really had to relearn how to breathe. There is no punctuation on purpose in this piece.
Breathing Deep
it didn't work the transplant didn't work I'm still gasping for air trying to thrust as much oxygen as I can into my tiresome lungs it's as if all the air in the room has been cruelly vacuumed out and I'm left with nothing to breathe in this cannot be happening I'm supposed to feel completely new I'm supposed to be a brand new man and be able to run a marathon—okay so maybe that's a tad extreme but really I should be able to breathe again not that I remember what that feels like anyways but still the whole point of this transplant was to improve my respiration not keep it the same I feel like crap no I feel like I was just run over by a semi-truck and I guess I should feel like that since I just had my chest sawed in half my lungs ripped out and new ones shoved in but why can't I breathe any deeper than before it's like these new lungs are purposely being cantankerous and refusing to accept the puffs of air I whiff in this seriously can't be happening please tell me that I did not just go through all of those long grueling days of waiting for nothing there is no way I just went under the knife in an extremely risky surgery for lungs that aren't even going to work please tell me that the incredibly giving person who donated these lungs did not do so in vain I don't know if I could go through all of that waiting and pain again so now what do we do I don't even want to think about that right now the nurses keep insisting that I'm not breathing right that I need to relearn how to breathe okay I'll admit that we all know I pretty much suck at the whole breathing thing but that's not my fault I'm not an idiot I know how to inhale and exhale it's really not that hard to figure out I know that I'm blessed to even be alive right now but since I am alive shouldn't I feel some kind of improvement I mean I know rejection can take place but this soon and if my body was rejecting these lungs wouldn't the doctor or the nurses have said something to me by now oh why can't things just be easy for once oh yeah that's right for some reason I always decide to do things the hard way just ask my family—huh—what was that—what do you want me to do breathe deeply from my abdomen well fine I'll do it just to show you how much this whole surgery and transplant didn't work...
Deep Breath In—Deep Breath Out
...whoa I can breathe I can really breathe
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